*Please be aware that this article contains content that some readers may find upsetting.*
In early 2014 I read an article about VirPed, aka the Virtuous Pedophiles — a support group for self-identified paedophiles (in this instance defined as any sexual attraction to those under 16) committed to resisting the urge to sexually abuse children. Their website offers an array of introductory testimony from those who have contacted them; while it makes for rather uncomfortable reading, what is apparent is that paedophilia doesn’t seem to discriminate: respondents range from 15 upwards, are of all sexualities and, whilst mostly male, there are more a couple of females present. I decided to do some more research on the topic; however, I quickly realised that most studies about paedophilia have been conducted on child sex offenders, which meant that there was likely a sizeable population that no one really knew anything about. So, I sent VirPed an email asking if any members would volunteer to answer some questions. (Disclaimer: at no point did any respondent admit partaking in criminal activity to me.)
It may seem weird that I would be particular about the difference between a paedophile and a child sex offender, or even interested in this topic at all. (For the record, I support the death penalty for convicted child sex offenders. This is not about sympathy for abusers in any way.) When I was 12 I met a 16 year old man online, who proceeded to sexually groom me. This experience, ranging over a year until the point that we met in person, shaped my perception of male sexuality and the role I played in it. Years later, I got back in contact with this man and we talked about it — he knew on a conscious level that what he had done was wrong, but didn’t seem to be able to tell that to his subconscious. My way of dealing with painful experiences has always been to think them inside and out, and that’s exactly what I did. Are people born with this perversion of sexuality? Is it possible to condition yourself in or out of it, like a fetish? Are there environmental triggers, like with certain mental health problems? The only way we’ll ever find out is to ask those who sexually abuse children, and those who are sexually attracted to children; it’s not a perfectly overlapped group, so at present we’re only getting one side of the story.
The aim of this very small and rather unscientific study was to glean information that could be used as a foundation to prove — or disprove — common perceptions about paedophilia. (Of course, the wider aim is to work out why it happens and stop it.) The method was as follows: ask the respondents question set 1 then, once their answers were returned, ask question set 2. I omitted any respondent that refused to provide any name at all, but kept the three respondents who failed to return question set 2.
Once I had received answers from all 13 respondents, I collated the data into a table. There were some surprising, and some not-so-surprising, revelations:
The first thing that surprised me was that 12 out of 13 respondents reported that their attraction to children — as in, those inappropriately younger than themselves — became evident during the first stage of puberty, as their sexuality began to develop. The second was that, whilst all respondent’s primary attraction was to children, roughly three-quarters stated they were capable of adult sexual attraction also. Only 3 respondents claimed an exclusive attraction to children; and 1 said their ‘age of attraction (AOA)’ went from “zero to a hundred”.
There were two strong trends in the responses: 8 out of 10 respondents claimed they grew up in households where sex and puberty were considered taboo and were not discussed; and 9 out of 10 respondents claimed they had never had a sexual experience with someone under 16, even when they themselves were underage. (The singular contrasting respondent was the complete opposite however, having had no sexual experiences at all after turning 16, but had prior to.) However, commencement of puberty and awareness of sexuality was fairly average, as was the variation in sex drive and whether the respondent watched porn or not.
Roughly half of the respondents (6 out of 13) stated that they felt they had been exposed to sexually inappropriate behaviours before the age of 14. Out of those, 3 said the behaviour had happened within their family; 1 by an older individual with authority; 1 specified being a victim of child sexual abuse but not who by; and 1 said they felt heavily influenced by pornography. (1 respondent said there was no sexual impropriety, but claimed their father was emotionally neglectful.) This, in my opinion, is where the difference between child sex offenders and paedophiles might come into being — it is generally accepted that being a victim of CSA is a noteable risk factor for becoming a CSO; but how to explain those who were not victims, especially when they do go on to offend? It may be that some people are born paedophiles, and that their fate is a time bomb ticking down to Tanner Stage III.
I’m putting this information out into the world hoping that someone who does this type of bio-social research for a living might pick up on it. Child sex abuse is such a rapidly growing problem in pretty much every nation and, while visceral disgust is the completely normal response, scientific study is vital to truly understanding how we as a society can create a solution. Maybe that solution will be therapy; maybe it’ll be chemical castration; maybe it’ll be a government watchlist and adjacent ‘cleansing program’. As it stands, in historical context we are right at the beginning of this battle; there are many nations around the world where paedophilia (and child sex abuse) is an normal acceptable part of their culture, and we need to evolve our understanding in order to eradicate it for good.
That being said — I’ll be glad to finally delete this data from my computer.
